So I got engaged this past weekend! Yep! Accepted 21 carats of something that some people would call precious - as a sign of commitment that will end up in marriage.
Engaged!
I'm still in shock. Yeah! Shocked I am.
You'll probably see me walking around with what looks like a plastic mask of a shocked person's face. Or maybe see me walking around looking at the ground...as if the ground just spoke to me!
Pretty soon guys are gonna start asking what the hell I'm looking at the ground for. They're going to be saying:
"Look at that! What's wrong with this person? Is she crazy."
"Yeah! I think she's crazy."
Then they're going to start looking at the ground themselves, just to make sure that there's nothing there and are in turn going to look just as crazy as me because, picture this, guys are going to be looking at them, looking at me, looking at the ground and it's all just going to look crazy. One vicious cycle. Crazy how my brain works.
Well, there's one thing I'm worried about. I'm still devising a way to break it to my mother. Crazy! She doesn't even know him. Never met him!
It's supposed to be the easiest thing in the world to do, but No! I gotta be very careful what to say to her. And I know what she'll say too! She'll say:
You're getting married to a guy I've never even met?"
And I know too the look that will come with those words. It's going to be a look of complete and utter disappointment. Is there anything like that?
Funny how as I write this, I can hear the voice of Robert DeNiro in my head. It's like he's the voice of my thoughts. He narrates...no, dictates and I write. He's the narrator to the tragic comedy that is my life.
Back on earth, I got engaged on Thursday night, two days ago and haven't once called my fiance. He hasn't called either. Doesn't that spell disaster? What is that?
God! I hate mobile phones, whose inventor should burn at a stake. No. How about this? Cut the damn genius up and burn every piece of him at a different stake! You know. To make sure he's cooked good and doesn't come back to life to invent devices that allow you to communicate telepathically!
Think about it! I mean, you could be somewhere thinking, oh he'll never find me here! And Bam! He's got you because you are thinking of how good a hiding place you're in, but at the same time, he's tapping into your thoughts and knows exactly where you are! Crap. That's how mobile phones are to me. See I got tired of lying about where I was, so nowadays, I just don't pick up the phone. Damn you mobile phone inventor.
So the connection between the mobile phone and my engagement? My fiance will call, has called always but not the night of the engagement or the morning after the engagement and only manages a text message that I find suspect.
What the hell am I supposed to think of that? God! I'm a writer, and a damn imaginative one at that, so right now I'm thinking at 2000 miles an hour how he must've gotten high, left the building(whichever) with a hooptie and is right now having drunken passionate relations with her....aaand without protection.
Oh! And there's something totally wrong with this picture. Aside from that, I'm convinced about something else........
Anyway...I'm praying for a miracle.
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4 comments:
You lucky thing, am actually envious of you! wish u knew how men are evasive nowadays with the ring, and 21 carat!!! Jeez, a fortune. No man wants to give ya a ring, most will ask for sex first or a baby first, then that will be the ring.
Try holding tight on to him, coz u have no idea how many women would pray for such a man.
And stop your imaginations, that is one thing that drags relationships behind!
Cheers!
Rem to tell ya mum!
HAVEN'T READ U IN A LONG TIME!! AND WHY LIE NJERI, U R LUCKY, IN THIS DAY AND AGE? 21 CARAT? KENYAN MAN? I HAVE TO ADMIT, I READ THAT AND COULD NOT HOLD MYSELF BACK. U R LUCKY. IF I MAY ASK, IS HE THE SAME GUY U USED TO COME TO CAMPO WITH? THE ONE WE SAID HI TO AT THE BOOKSHOP? IF HE IS,THE BLACK BEAUTY, AM EVEN THE MORE JEALOUS!HAAAA GREEN ACTUALLY! ALERT US OF THE WEDDING. I HOPE TO GET SUCH A MAN, THOUGH I KNOW, HAVING BEEN THERE, IT IS FUTILE, SUCH MEN ARE RARE. ACTUALLY I GAVE UP ON THEM, ESPECIALLY AFTER ONE SAID I'D HAVE TO PROVE AM FERTILE BEFORE WE GET MARRIED!!BY GETTING A BABY!! DUMB.
CONGRATS AND WE LOOK FORWARD TO THE BIG DAY.
We give way now. No more hitting on you. Nice photo though, who'd not want a cute thing like you? a thing of beauty is a joy forever!ha! wish you all the best, and I hope u will come back to college and maliza your course. we shared a class, remember?
Hmmmm.Emotional!
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