Hmmm.....

Let's just put it this way: it's me, it has been all along. I'm a very screwed up human being. Scared and screwed up.

I know I should've gotten past this by now. I mean, it's not impossible! It's possible because you see, people do it all the time, they do. I'm not going to say it's easy. It couldn't possibly be easy, it takes guys years and years to get past these kinds of things. It's been years and I haven't got over it. Why? Let's just say, it's not yet time for me to get past these things. And the one answer that I never want to hear must must give myself everytime I ask the question is: "some things stay with you forever". It's true, you can forgive, but forgetting is almost impossible unless you fall on your head and get amnesia. Wow! Wouldn't that be something.

I still can't believe it. I can't believe that a man single handedly...No wait! One man with the help of a bunch of the hooches and home-wreckers could ruin my life forever and seal the fate of every man and woman on this earth; at least in my eyes.

When I look at a man, I see that man. The absconder, the adultorous, the lier, the two faced son of a bitch. When I look at a woman, I see the 'other woman'. Cursed!

It's because of this man that I'm in my current predicament, which I'm sad to say, is always my current predicament. It's with me all the time. Since then till now.